eat.pray.love

"Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time-everything. If I love you, I will carry you for all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts. I will protect you from your own insecurities, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by become infatuated with someone else. I do not relay this facts about myself with pride, but this is how its always been. And also, let's be honest-it might be a generous public service for me to leave intimacy alone for a while. When I scan back on my romantic record, it doesn't look so good. It's been one catastrophe after another. How many more different types of men can I keep trying to love, and continue to fail? Think of it this way-if you'd had ten serious traffic accidents in a row, wouldn't they eventually take your drivers license away? Wouldn't you kind of want them to? This much i do know-I'm exhausted by the cumulative consequences of a lifetime of hasty choices and chaotic passion."